Welcome to my world. There’s plenty to go around: plenty of Love, plenty of inspiration, plenty of JOY. You can browse the posts for tips on inspired living, or schedule a private session with me. My greatest wish is for you to free yourself from the bonds of the past so you can live your best, most vibrant and inspired life. Love Bless!
Twenty-one years ago, I had a really bad day. I was a 25-year-old single mother of a six-month-old, working, and going to school. I was scared. Lonely. I rarely had enough money to pay the rent on time. I had a loving family of origin that I didn’t know how to reach out to and one friend in the world, who lived half a continent away.
Then my sweet baby boy comes down with severe pneumonia. I had to take him to the hospital for a treatment I knew I couldn’t afford. I didn’t have one person who could come hold my hand and hold me while I cried, terrified for the life of my baby, struggling for every breath.
I had another bad day last week – I had a little, nagging cold, that kept dragging me down; I was feeling misunderstood at work; I was noticing an old pattern on fear and disconnection with my husband.
The difference between these two “bad days” is dramatic: one was a life-and-death struggle to survive and the other was simply a noticing, and an opportunity to heal a few things. A life of fear and loneliness versus a life of mutual support and infinite love. The difference between these two weeks: 20 years of daily spiritual practice.
That day in the ER with John wasn’t even the worst day I’ve had to live through. The worst day was figuring out how to live in the first 24 hours after Alex’s diagnosis of Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy, living with the pain in my husband’s eyes. And there are other worse days that I could tell you about. And some of you have shared your worst days with me. And I thank you for sharing your journey with me. Life hurts sometimes.
We are in the midst of the High Holy days of the Jewish year. A new year, a new beginning. A time when they “dedicate our mind, body and soul to reconciliation with God, our fellow human beings, and ourselves.” One of the beautiful, sacred traditions of Judaism is taking time every fall to do this work of Soul reconciliation.
In my life, I’ve had much to reconcile, much to atone for and much to offer forgiveness for. And here’s the ONE thing I would offer about this work: It must be done at EVERY level (Body, heart and mind) and when it is done fully, it is the ONE activity that brings true Freedom. Atonement means to be at ONE with God, each other and ourselves.
Tools of Growth and Reconciliation
Some of us need to experience a reconciliation with God. You may find this hard to believe, but it was leaning into the practice of tithing, of conscious giving, that I began to make peace with God. Tithing, for me, was the ultimate act of Faith and TRUST – I will continue to tithe, to give and give and give again, and in this way, I will come to BE more God-like, I will EXPRESS the self-givingness of God. learned to TRUST God’s givingness through BECOMING this givingness.
Reconciliation with Others happens through Forgiveness: “Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a commitment.” Dr Gary Chapman. “Forgiveness is giving up the idea that the past could have been any different.” Lily Tomlin
Reconciliation with ourselves happens in the Stillness – it is in the stillness that we begin to hear the voice of God, the voice of Love. Often we create barriers to understanding through our constant BUSY-ness. Be still. And Know. And Act on that Knowing.
Commitment. If I committed to my marriage and family the way some of us commit to our spiritual practice, my family would be in serious trouble. “I’ll PROBABLY meditate today.” “I’ll PROBABLY not cheat on you today.” “I might ask a Practitioner for prayer.” “I might cook my children dinner.” Love is not a feeling, it is a commitment. Forgiveness is a commitment. Spiritual Practice is a commitment.
Finally, recognize that when you commit to your growth, when you begin to clear the windows of your soul, you may feel frightened or sad or angry at the patterns you begin to notice. This is when you look up and reach outside of yourself for support. Who do you have in your life who can listen, deeply, empathetically, lovingly listen as you process some of these old feelings and patterns? Is there someone in your life that might need you to listen in this way?
Welcome to the High Holy days. The time when we “dedicate our mind, body and soul to reconciliation with God, our fellow human beings, and ourselves.” When you’re ready to lay the struggle down, when you’re ready to forgive and be forgiven, when you’re ready to trust again…Welcome home to the Wholeness, the Oneness that you are.
